Girl Drama
June 1st, 2007, 09:28 am
I hope she never reads this. She’ll rip my head off.
Anyways, just boring girlfriend drama. Read more if you want.
Today is our five month anniversary. Like all anniversaries, we fought last night.
She started off by saying tomorrow is our fifth month and I reply, “yeah, I remembered last night.” Of course she says that I only remembered after she told me and she always has to tell me. This isn’t true. I actually did remember it was our anniversary and couple nights ago without her telling me. I remembered other anniversaries without her telling me either. Also it’s kinda hard to remember on my own when she is constantly bringing it up. She doesn’t give me a chance. She always makes plans which are surprises for me (to this day I still don’t know what most of these surprises were). I can never plan anything special for our anniversary. I guess she doesn’t think I can impress her or do anything fun or cool for our anniversary. When she plans stuff we usually never do it though and that is mostly because of her. She gets lazy. She told me that when she plans to do a surprise for me she gets lazy and doesn’t do it.
So it started bad with her making me feel like I can’t remember our anniversaries. She then asks for the millionth time this week if I still want to be with her. I keep thinking that she doesn’t want to be with me because she keeps bringing it up. It’s almost like she wants to break up but she doesn’t want to do it. She wants me to so that she is the good guy. Quit wasting both of our time and do it already.
She continues on telling me that she has finally realized that she walks all over me and that I’m whipped. Of course she blames me, mostly me, for it because I’ve known this for a while now but I never said anything. I blame both of us equally, me for letting it happen and her for doing it. But no. To her I’m the only one that has done something wrong. I let her do it so I’m the bad guy.
Before we get to the whose fault it is she calls me a coward for not telling her it was happening and what I’m feeling. This is what pissed me off the most. I’ve talked to her about calling me names and making fun of me. Anyways, around here is where she says its all my fault and has called me a retard.
During our conversation she posts this on MySpace
Ok, WELL HE TOLD ME THAT HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE WITH ME FOREVER, YEAH NOBODY LASTS FOREVER, SO I THINK I MIGHT JUST END IT NOW, SO I WONT GET HURT IN THE FUTURE. I’M SICK OF HIM
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Again, just do it already if you don’t want to be together. I’ve told her time after time that I still want to be with her. She tells me that half the stuff she puts on MySpace is BS. Thanks for an excuse and I guess all those cute little things you put aren’t true.
Yes, I did tell her that I don’t want to be with her for a long time. A couple months ago I was having feelings like this. She wants me to tell her what I’m feeling so I did. I was unsure if I could be with her for a long time because I had some concerns. We talked about it and I feel better. I do want to be with her for a while.
By now she has made me feel like I can never remember our anniversaries, I’m a coward, retard, that it is all my fault, and that she doesn’t want to be with me. Of course I know none of this is true and I’m mad. She is also acting like she doesn’t care. She is being very sarcastic. She’s told me to fuck off, to go to hell and to go fuck myself. I haven’t sworn at her or called her names.
Whenever I get mad, she gets mad at me for getting mad. Then I hold grudges forever even though it’s only been an hour after I got mad. I don’t hold grudges for long. Usually the next day I’m over it. She expects me to get over it right when she wants me to.
At this point I quit to go do my own thing. I wasn’t going to keep this up.
She calls me and says we are going to talk. We aren’t going to bed fighting. Right now I didn’t care. I was done. I didn’t want to get insulted even more. But I stayed on the phone. I got insulted a couple more times but we worked things out. It was quite frustrating because I’m telling her I want to be with her more but she doesn’t listen. I know she wants to be with me but she is saying that we shouldn’t see each other as much. She is making me feel like she doesn’t want to be with me even more.
I try to tell her to let me do some of the things I want to do so that she isn’t walking all over me. She agrees and tells me that she will go do her own thing when there is something I wan to do. I tell her that I want to do these things with her though. She doesn’t care. All she is thinking is that she doesn’t want to do them so she isn’t going to do them. I’m thinking that she doesn’t like anything I suggest so I shouldn’t even bother.
There are so many things I want to do with her. Even if she is just sitting there while I do whatever it is. At least we can talk to each other. I can’t do anything with her unless it is what she wants to do.
The night ending not bad but not good either. She doesn’t feel anything special with us anymore. Now I need to decide if I really want her and make her feel special again. I feel like she doesn’t want to be with me and lots of other negative things coming from her. I don’t like it. It’s hard.
I think I’ll go listen to Love Bites by Def Leppard.
