Behind all the anger I’m sad. Sad that people take advantage of me and walk all over me. Sad that I let people do it. Sad that some of the few friends I have don’t like me. Sad because I blame myself for everything.

I’m working my way through the payment process going as fast as I could when I hear a guy say “dude, hurry up” in an annoyed voice. If only I wasn’t so shy I would have told him to go have sex with himself but instead I continued going as fast as I could wondering what I was doing wrong. Why didn’t he say anything to the old lady with half the store in her cart? Why did he choose me, the one that was probably going the fastest to show his lack of patience to? I’ll never know.

In a matter of seconds after the comment I was gone. I was probably at the self checkout machine for less than two minutes and that is not fast enough for people in this world. Especially on a busy afternoon when they should expect lots of people.

Edit: I hear a baby! That explains the pacing at weird hours of the night. Now I feel like a jerk…

I found this in a friend’s blog.

Isnt it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a mini with a tshirt that barely cover anything?
Isnt it funny you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful?
Isnt it funny that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone
-are you laughing?
Isnt it funny an emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity?
Isnt it funny that you dont mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?
-im not laughing
Its so funny that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting.
Isnt it funny that you can call emos, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart.
How can you call a girl a poser, how can you say “your emo” or “attention seeker” without spending a second trying to figure out why there are cuts on her wrists and why she spends her lunghtimes crying instead of laughing with her friends
-keep on laughing
Isnt it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life
without knowing her situation with her friends
of her family
or her life
Brave isnt going up on stage and stripping
Brave is not saying a speech
Or dumping your boyfriend
Brave is
Going to school on a mufti day and not for a second caring what the whores around you are saying about your clothes
Its listening to your own music and being proud of it
Its going through every day with the things people say to your face and behind your back and you still keep quiet
Its knowing what your “friends” are saying about you and still calling them your friends
Brave is knowing that tomorrow isnt a bright and happy future
Its another day of bitching and dodging rumors.

First off, why is it that emo’s are embarrassed to be called emo? They are the only group I have seen embarrassed by this title. Even the geeks and nerds aren’t embarrassed to be called a geek or a nerd. They are proud of that title.

Second, why do emo’s have to be negative all of the time? Life is what you make it to be. You can always find something positive to think about. You don’t have to dwell on the negative. Life sucks. Cry a river, build a bridge, get over it. Do not think that you are the only one that has the problems you do. I’m absolutely certain there is a cheerleader, jock or some other very popular person that is going through the exact same or similar problems as you. They choose to deal with it differently.

This is sort of off topic but I’m going to address it anyways. Anyone who has committed suicide or attempted suicide is a selfish bastard. I rarely talk about this. My step grandpa committed suicide at 82 years old. It devasted my grandma. It hurt his family and mine as well. He was a coward and took the easy way out. He only thought about himself. He didn’t think about what it would do to anyone else. It affected us all and not only him.

It is very sad that people mock those that let their feelings out. I believe that everyone should let their feelings out and vent every once in a while. It doesn’t help to be negative all of the time but to let your feelings out everyonce in a while is healthy. If we actually knew each other’s problems, then we wouldn’t feel alone and we could help each other. There’s no point in moping around feeling sorry for yourself though. Deal with your issues so you can be happy.

Comments are welcome.